Are you struggling with an addiction to drugs and alcohol and afraid to tell anyone for fear of judgement?
Have you tried to quit over and over only to find yourself still using or drinking?
Have you prayed time and time again, begging God to release you from your addiction only to find yourself drunk or high that very same day?
If this is you, I completely understand. I was there myself many years ago. I struggled with drug and alcohol addiction for many years. I pleaded with God to take away my addiction. In fact, several years before I got sober, I was a DJ at a Christian music station playing praise and worship songs every afternoon. Then I would head to the liquor store each evening, get drunk, and usually black out. I did not tell anyone because I was full of shame. I certainly did not want anyone in the church to find out!
I even tried bargaining with God. I told him if He would strike me sober, I would throw away all my heavy metal CD’s! And I did! Unfortunately, I was drunk the next night. Toward the end of my drinking, I was mixing alcohol and benzodiazepines (Xanax) which is a deadly combination and I could have died. God rescued me just in time and he wants to rescue you too. He has an amazing plan for your life, but He needs you to surrender your addiction to Him so he can show who you are and help you fulfill your destiny.
In addition to struggling with my own addiction to drugs and alcohol, in 2015 lost my brother to his addiction so I understand the family dynamics surrounding addiction and codependency. It can be a challenging system to navigate and you need support along the way.
The reality is my addiction(s) was a band-aid covering up difficult emotions that I did not know how to manage. Underneath the drinking and drugs was anxiety, anger, rage, low self-esteem, stuffed emotions, and TONS of codependent patterns of relating myself and other. These out-of-control emotions further escalated my shame and caused the cycle of addiction to continue. REAL recovery came once I was willing to reach out for help, do the work, and stop avoiding the pain.
Have you tried bargaining with your addiction? Have you tried bargaining with God? As you know, it does not work! It was not until I asked for help that I was able to get and stay sober. Today, I have been sober from alcohol and drugs for 18 years. I no longer have panic attacks and I do not need to take Xanax to calm down. I was able to get to the root of my addictions and codependency issues and step into God’s will for my life. In addition to my years of sobriety, I have an MA in Leadership and an MS in addiction counseling. I can help you get and stay sober and move toward the calling God has for you.
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