Welcome to the blog! Today, we’re diving deep into the transformative power of retraining your brain with insights from an engaging conversation between myself and Stephen Campbell on the Genuine Life Recovery Podcast. Steven is a professor, author, and speaker renowned for his work on brain retraining. We’ll explore how to replace negative self-talk with positive messages, the concept of neuroplasticity, and why this is crucial for everyone, especially those in recovery from addiction, trauma, and low self-esteem.
Your Brain Believes What You Tell It
Most of what we say to ourselves is negative. This negativity isn’t just harmless background noise; it significantly shapes our self-image and behavior. Campbell references the work of Shad Helmstetter, who in his book “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself,” notes that our self-talk is often filled with negative thoughts that we would never say to others.
One of the most profound points Campbell makes is that our brains believe everything we tell them without question. This concept is both scary and empowering. The scary part is that when we repeatedly tell ourselves negative things, our brain wires itself to believe these messages. This phenomenon, known as neuroplasticity, means that our brains are constantly forming new neural connections based on our experiences and thoughts.
The great news is that if we can replace negative self-talk with positive messages, our brains will rewire themselves to believe these new, positive affirmations. For example, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid,” you could say, “That was a silly mistake, but it doesn’t define my intelligence.” Over time, this practice can change your self-perception and behavior.
Embracing Replacement Over Change
Campbell emphasizes the importance of framing our mental efforts as “replacement” rather than “change.” The word “change” can evoke fear and resistance because our brains are wired to seek safety and avoid risk. Change feels risky and uncertain, which can trigger anxiety. In contrast, “replacement” suggests a more manageable and less threatening process.
For instance, instead of aiming to change your entire mindset, focus on replacing specific negative thoughts with positive ones. This approach is less daunting and more sustainable. Campbell himself used this technique to overcome a long-held belief that he was terrible at math. By choosing to listen to his students’ positive feedback rather than his own negative self-talk, he gradually transformed his self-image and became a successful math professor and author.
The Complexity and Potential of the Brain
Campbell provides a fascinating explanation of how our brains process and store information. He describes how we form neural clusters based on what we learn and experience daily. These clusters connect and form patterns, which are the basis of our knowledge and self-images. Remarkably, the number of potential patterns our brains can hold is virtually limitless, far exceeding the number of stars in the universe.
This incredible capacity means that we have the potential to continuously learn, grow, and reshape our self-images throughout our lives. The key is to actively manage our self-talk and focus on building positive neural connections.
Neuroplasticity and Recovery
The concept of neuroplasticity is particularly relevant for those in recovery from addiction, trauma, and low self-esteem. Recovery often involves confronting deeply ingrained negative beliefs and behaviors. Understanding that the brain can change and adapt provides hope and a practical pathway for healing.
For individuals recovering from trauma, neuroplasticity means that the brain can recover and form new, healthier connections even after severe emotional damage. This process requires consistent effort and support, but it is entirely possible. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and positive affirmations are all effective tools that leverage neuroplasticity to promote recovery.
Personal Stories of Transformation
In the podcast we share personal stories about the power of positive self-talk and neuroplasticity. I recounts my journey of overcoming negative self-perceptions because of my dyslexia. Despite early struggles in school and being labeled as “stupid,” I eventually found a teacher who believed in my writing ability. This positive reinforcement changed my self-image and set me on a path to success, including earning two master’s degrees.
Campbell’s story is equally inspiring. After years of believing he was bad at math, he discovered a passion for computers and went back to school for a degree in computer science. By replacing his negative self-talk with positive feedback from his students, he transformed his self-image and became a highly regarded math professor and author.
Practical Tips for Retraining Your Brain
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, consciously replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, instead of “I can’t do this,” say, “I can learn and improve.”
Focus on Replacement
Approach self-improvement as a process of replacing old habits with new ones. This mindset is less intimidating and more sustainable.
Leverage Neuroplasticity
Engage in activities that promote brain health and plasticity, such as learning new skills, practicing mindfulness, and staying physically active.
Seek Positive Feedback
Surround yourself with supportive people who provide positive reinforcement. Their feedback can help reshape your self-image.
Be Patient
Remember that changing your brain’s wiring takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate small victories along the way and stay committed to the process.
Rewriting Your Self-Image: The Power of Self-Talk
In the second half of our discussion, we dive deeper into the intricate web of self-image, self-talk, and the powerful role they play in shaping our lives. Our self-image is not formed in isolation but is a result of accumulated experiences and the interpretations we assign to them. This process begins early in life and continues to influence us profoundly as we grow.
The Roots of Self-Image
Our self-image starts forming in childhood. The example shared was about a young Steve who loved drawing dinosaurs. His sister Shirley, in a moment of annoyance, dismisses his drawing as stupid. This statement becomes an internalized belief: “Steve can’t draw.” When similar dismissals come from others, like his younger sister and his mother, these beliefs start to solidify into a pattern. The brain, always eager to find and create patterns, connects these instances to form a self-concept. This pattern of thought becomes a recurring internal dialogue, a negative self-talk that cements the belief that Steve cannot draw.
As we grow, these early experiences and the self-talk they generate can extend to various areas of our lives, affecting our confidence and our perceived abilities. For instance, negative self-talk about drawing can spiral into broader beliefs about our intelligence or worthiness.
Breaking the Negative Self-Talk Cycle
To counteract these deeply ingrained beliefs, it is essential to become aware of our self-talk. Our self-talk is a direct reflection of our beliefs, and by paying attention to it, especially when we make mistakes, we can start to understand the roots of our negative self-image. The first step in breaking this cycle is to listen and identify what we are telling ourselves.
An interesting concept discussed is the “effort effect,” a study from Stanford University in 1975, which found that most people dismiss their successes too quickly for them to have a lasting positive impact. When we receive compliments or achieve something significant, we often downplay it, saying things like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “I was just lucky.” This dismissal prevents positive reinforcement from becoming part of our self-concept. Instead, a more effective response would be to accept compliments gracefully, saying something like, “Thank you, that makes me feel good.” When alone, it’s beneficial to reflect deeply on these successes, allowing them to bolster our self-image.
Practical Applications for Positive Self-Talk
To cultivate a positive self-image, it’s crucial to change the way we react to both our successes and our failures. Here are a few practical steps:
Acknowledge Successes Fully
When you achieve something or receive a compliment, acknowledge it without downplaying. Accept the compliment with a simple “Thank you, that means a lot to me.” Spend some time reflecting on your success and what it means about your abilities and efforts.
Positive Affirmations
Create positive affirmations that reflect the person you want to become. For instance, if you are working towards losing weight, instead of focusing on your current weight, say “I am fit and healthy,” even if you haven’t reached your goal yet. This helps rewire your brain to support your goals. In other words, your brain believes what you tell it, regardless of whether or not you have reached your goal.
Mindful Self-Talk During Failures
When you make a mistake, pay attention to the language you use with yourself. Instead of harsh criticism, practice compassionate self-talk. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that each failure is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Visualizing Success
Visualization can be a powerful tool. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving your goals and succeeding. This can help align your self-image with your aspirations.
The Role of Beliefs in Shaping Feelings
Albert Ellis, a prominent psychologist, emphasized that our feelings are not a direct result of our experiences but rather of our beliefs about those experiences. This means that by changing our beliefs, we can alter our feelings and, subsequently, our behaviors.
For example, if you believe that you are not capable because of past failures, you will feel discouraged and act in ways that reinforce that belief. However, if you start to believe that failures are just learning experiences and that you have the ability to improve, your feelings will shift towards hope and determination, leading to more positive actions.
Healing from Trauma through Rewriting Our Stories
Trauma can significantly distort our self-image and self-talk. Healing from trauma involves rewriting our internal stories. This doesn’t mean erasing the past but rather changing our beliefs about it. For instance, instead of viewing oneself as a victim of circumstances, one can start to see themselves as a survivor and a fighter.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), both of which were influenced by Ellis, are therapeutic approaches that help individuals identify and change their irrational beliefs. These therapies focus on replacing negative, distorted thoughts with more realistic and positive ones, thereby changing the emotional and behavioral outcomes.
The Journey of Self-Improvement
Changing our self-image and self-talk is a continuous journey. It requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to confront and challenge deep-seated beliefs. It’s important to celebrate small victories along the way and to be compassionate with ourselves when we stumble.
The discussion also touched on the importance of separating our identity from our struggles. For example, acknowledging “I am an alcoholic” doesn’t just highlight the problem but also serves as a reminder of the journey of recovery and the strength it takes to stay sober. Similarly, acknowledging learning disabilities while celebrating academic achievements showcases resilience and determination.
Conclusion
Our self-image and self-talk are powerful forces that shape our lives. By becoming aware of our internal dialogue and actively working to change it, we can transform our self-image, achieve our goals, and lead more fulfilling lives. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about progress and embracing the journey of self-improvement. Through positive affirmations, mindful self-talk, and a willingness to rewrite our internal stories, we can create a self-image that reflects our true potential and worth.
