For most of my life I was unable to identify my feelings.
Therapists or friends would say things like: “…and how does that make you feel.” “I don’t know.” I would say.
It never occurred to me not knowing how I felt was out of the ordinary. The belief that my feelings were insignificant was buried so deep inside me I didn’t even believe I believed it.
Maybe you experienced deep wounds as a child and your pain wasn’t recognized or validated. Perhaps you were told your feelings were wrong. Or maybe an adult figure projected their pain onto you and you internalized it along with the impression that your feelings were irrelevant.
When you got older it became easy to let others make decisions for you because you felt like their feelings were more important than yours.
If this is true then how in the world do you get in touch with your own feelings?
Pray and ask God to reveal your feelings to you, try and stop internalizing everyone else’s feelings to make some room for your own; and as Dr. Henry Cloud said in his book Boundaries: establish “where you end and someone else begins.”
Jodie Stevens
Thank you for this post!! This is exactly what I struggle with and it helps to know that I am not the only one. I had a revelation about 2 years ago when I begged God to help me deal with past pain and He really did!! Now, I have to continue that journey and remember to continue to ask God to help me with this. My feelings do mean something and they are valid! 😉
Thank you so much…keep posting!!
Hi Kimber,
Thanks for reading. I’m just realizing some of these things and it’s painful, in a good way. I’m working on letting people own their OWN emotions without becoming hard in the process. I’m so glad God has been helping you in dealing with your past! Thanks again for reading.
Jodie