Shame and the False Self (and how to unearth our true self) – Many of us put forth a false-front or what is called the False-Self. This is the ‘us’ we think others will like better. We are afraid if they see the real ‘us’ they won’t like us or they will reject us. This may have served a ‘good’ purpose in our family of origin…and possibly even saved our life. However, when we are older, this False-Self becomes destructive and it backfires. In this episode, I will share how God removed my False-Self and my need for approval. I believe He wants to do the same for you by removing your shame. It begins with deep self-exploration as we allow God to shine His light into the darkest areas of our lives and begin the pruning process. This is a painful but necessary part of our growth as we are told in John 15: 1-2: “I am the true vine, and my father is the gardener, He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
Shame and the False Self (and how to unearth our true self)
Thank you for the beautiful words
Hi Martha,
God bless you and thanks so much for listening!
I remember Ruth Barnard and I praying for you some 15 years ago. Little did I know at that time that your restoration and transformation would one day play a big part in my own recovery and restoration.
I have not been able to maintain continuous sobriety from my primary addictions of gambling and lusting. My latest sponsor has had me on a new path of journaling for 30 minutes each day on who am I. It’s only been a week now and I’ve written about a lot of the surface stuff and all the “happy God talk” stuff. I flt really good to know that my identity in Christ seemed more solid and real than ever before—those times where it may have been mere words instead of a heart truth.
But, now I have to move on to writing about the types of things you talked about in this podcast. I could feel excitement rising up in me as I knew you were hitting the nail right on the head. Most particularly that trapped feeling just to name one of so many zingers.
At any rate, I will likely be playing this over MANY times in the days ahead and taking notes and praying about these things. I feel hope rising that this could truly be a crossroads moment for me. I’m serious—there were at least 20 zingers in here. Not the least of which was that portion of the AA Big Book which I have read so many times, but it never came to life like it did right now as you read it–especially with certain voice inflections that you used while reading it.
I’ll keep you advised as to how it goes from here. This was an absolute treasure. A total gift from God! So glad you allowed God to begin this amazing new work in you by your willingness to endure the pain of pruning. I have often wondered what it would mean to insist that the deadly work of the cross be finished in my life. Now, I have a little bit of a sense of what that might look like…and i’m open to it. No…I’m looking forward to that work being done. Then I can put aside “happy God talk” when I state Galatians 2:20 and have it simply be a roaring in my heart that I cannot contain!
Thank you! I said it before, and I’ll say it again with renewed gusto, “I’m glad for you and excited that you’ve moved on to this new season in your life. I remember those mornings when you were on the air. It is very enlightening to hear about the demons you faced. We all do such a good job of covering it well!
No more masks required for Jodie. She never did know if people loved her or loved the mask. Neither did I.
Hi Rick,
Thank you so much for listening and for sharing your heart. I’m so glad this material could be a part of your breakthrough. I’d recommend reading “The Gif of Being Yourself” by David Benner, “Lost in the Shuffle – The Co-dependent Reality” by Robert Subby, and “Love is a Choice” by Hemfelt, Minirth and Meier. That trapped feeling is something we can overcome once we know it exists consciously, then we can work through it! I also have an identity course on this site if you are interested. Let me know how it goes with your sponsor…sounds like you have a good one! Praise God and thanks again for sharing and listening.