“Lord, if you will strike me sober, I will throw away all my heavy metal CD’s.”
That is how the conversation with God went 15 years ago when I desperately wanted to quit drinking. There I was in my swanky little apartment filling two big black heavy duty trash bags with the likes of D.I.O., Danzig, W.A.S.P., Alice Cooper, Queensryche, Grim Reaper, and Zodiac Mind Warp and the Tattooed Beat Messiah. Yes, they were an actual band. Believe it or not, they were pretty good. I slung those bags up and over my shoulder and hurled them into the dumpster with force, confidence, and an air of victory. Then, I went inside and waited for the magic to happen. I was drunk again the next night.
“God, what happened?” “God, I thought we had a deal?” “God, I’m still drinking, and now all my music is gone.” Just in case the garbageman decided to skip our apartment that week, I went out and looked. Yep, gone.
I’m sure God appreciated my heart as I rid my place of all that ‘devil music.’ However, it was hardly a path to sobriety. You see, I wanted the easy way out. I wanted God to pull out His magic wand and fix my problem so I wouldn’t have to do the hard work it takes to recover. But, the hard stuff is what I had to do. I’ve been sober now for 15 years and I can say that I don’t miss the alcohol. Sometimes, I do miss my CDs though. I would like to note that Alice Cooper and Blackie Lawless (the lead singer of W.A.S.P.) are both born again Christians.
My life had to get a little uglier before I summoned the courage to call a sponsor, get sober, work the steps, and start the process of helping others do the same thing. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Anything worth having takes a lot of work. When it comes to addiction, there is usually no easy way out. Everyone in my family that didn’t quit drinking is six feet under, including my brother Casey who died in 2015.
That day, the Lord showed me the only way out is through. What kind of testimony would I have if God would have granted my request? How would I have been able to help others? Imagine me getting on stage to share my story: “It was really easy everyone. I just prayed and God took it all away. The end.”
Now, sometimes that does happen, but it is very rare. Also, people who experience that kind of recovery are often very immature as they have not done the hard emotional and spiritual work to understand why they were drinking or using in the first place. Addiction is a Band-Aid we use to cover emotional pain or sooth anxiety. We have to work through the pain to get the relief. Most likely you already know this. But I do hope this blog encourages you to do the hard stuff if you’ve been putting it off.
My husband has been sober 18 years. Between the two of us we now have 33 years of sobriety. I know, we are old. If you’d like to hear more of our story please check out my podcast by clicking here https://jodiestevens.org/sober-and-married-lets-talk-about-33-years-of-combined-sobriety/
Everything I write about and broadcast is designed to help you live a better life mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Good luck on your journey working through the hard stuff. I am here to encourage you and God will be with you every step of the way. He just may not always do things the way you want Him to.